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January Photo-A-Day 2017

January rolls around yet again. Instead of excitement which I do feel at the start of every year, I also feel that (weird social pressure) overwhelming anxiety of having not achieved anything so far and whatever I have accomplished previously isn’t good enough because whatever the next year holds we seem to have this idea that it needs to be bigger and better than the preceding year.

I sit here thinking,  “Yep Jess, you’ve got this. You can smash it out and have the most incredible year yet.”

This year I’ll… (not in any order of priority)
get to sleep by 10pm each night,
be present for my husband and kids
meditate everyday,
stretch and rehabilitate my muscles and injuries so that I can improve all my lifting weights and crossift abilities.
stay on top of housework and cook healthy food
be calm with the girls and be a supermum – organised and efficient
create a blog post every week with what’s happening with my business and sharing my latest images
develop more content and a program for teaching fellow photographers (which is what I love to do!)
do my taxes on time
do last year taxes
do this year’s taxes
create a veggie garden and an amazing chicken coop for my long suffering chooks
know everything that’s going on at my girls school and never be late with notes and know when they have events coming up
make school lunches the night before every night
grow my indoor plant family keeping the air in my home nice and clean
have a mailing list for my lovely clients letting them know whats going on and growing this list
travel interstate with work
keep in touch with ALL my gorgeous friends
write more poetry
write more
take a course
get my work “out there”
not waste time on social media
not take my phone into my bedroom at night
reduce my use of single use plastic
not use a plastic disposable water bottle at all
waste less food
buy less “things”
have more experiences
read more books

oh and my best one for 2017?

I’ll turn 40!

And then I think – fuck it! I can’t even start a January photo a day on the right day – how on earth am I going to do any of this stuff? And then I smile – my life isn’t a competition with myself and hopefully as I grow a little older, I grow a little wiser too.

So let’s just micro-manage this one down a little, break it into smaller chunks, look at what HAS been achieved and know that only one needs to be taken at time.

Let’s also remember that on the first day of the year, there were plenty of good vibes rolling around I remember a beautiful blessing by a buddhist monk. I don’t remember getting cranky (much) at my girls that day, I remember drinking a cider and listening to awesome music and loving it. I remember feeling grateful for those moments and THAT feeling right there is the feeling I am seeking. I’m not seeking a validation for most blog posts, for most home cooked meals, for most “onto-it” parent for most loads of washing done over a weekend, for best photographer. I’m seeking gratitude.

I’m seeking genuine human connection. I am looking to enhance my life through connection with others whether they be family, friends, business friends, crossfit friends,  and strangers. I want to continue to explore what it means to be human and live on earth in my 40th year on the planet.

I’m not seeking perfect, and that sometimes I’ll need to seek gratitude amongst tough and hard moments, because in my world perfect is like a ceiling where you can’t explore further and who wants to stop exploring? Not me! Last year my mantra was “stay curious” and I think I did ok at that.

I became a Moment Design Teacher within my Brisbane Family Photography business, I went back to teaching casually and loved it, I watched my youngest daughter finish primary school and I became a mum with no children in primary school. I watched my girls have their own little battles (urgh with each other) of the joy and struggles of growing up. I grew my marriage, and we rebuilt our kitchen! There were days when I didn’t want to get up and face the day, dark murky moments inside my head, but just like the clouds in the sky they passed and once again the sky was clear.

I’m looking forward to starting the year as I like to think I start most days, with hope and optimism for what is going to unfold……and a faith in the ok-ness of our messy lives.

And so begins my January- photo-a-day month {on day three} with an image of my big girl on her
14th birthday which is technically not in January but I don’t care 😉

Jess

 

 

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