Even as they grow up, the demands don’t diminish, they just change. I must look back on their younger years with rose coloured glasses as I feel like i prefer parenting when physical demands are high (I have lots of energy) and their world that gets shattered, by something like not being able to get the cup out of the drawer, can be repaired in an instant with a diversion, a cuddle and a tickle. Now when worlds shatter, I can’t fix it like I used to be able to, the cuddles and tickles are fewer and the bad mood can last longer. It’s the nature of the beast I realise, but I do often pine for those “simpler” times; when the mountains of washing never went away, (who am I kidding they still don’t go away) when all you want to is to pee alone (who am I kidding I often still get interrupted mid-stream) and when all I want is for my coffee to be hot (I’ve grown fond of tepid coffee….lower your expectation and be pleasantly surprised if it’s warmer than 30 degrees!)
The simpler times, of early nights, of walking around with a barnacle child on your leg as it’s a fun game, of the girls having a bath at Grandma and Grandads and carrying them up to bed from the car. All those little funny moments, you swear you are never going to forget….
But then, watching them grow comes with a beauty of it’s own. Seeing them navigate life and all it’s intricacies, whilst ‘white knuckling’, holding on for dear life and hoping you are doing an ok job at this parenting gig. Then they surprise you with their grace and thoughtfulness and depth you didn’t know they quite had yet.
It’s all a mystery really and some days are better than others (for all of us really) and I know I am on the cusp of the “tricky” teenage years. I just hope I can continue to find small pockets of grace and reside there with a full heart knowing that my girls will be ok.
In the meantime, I’ll enjoy moments like this, where no matter what their age there’s childlike- joy all round <3
Brisbane Family Photographer